script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.haloscan.com/load/thekaostheory"> The Kaos Theory: February 2005

Friday, February 25, 2005

This is real funny

The Brits are at it again.

The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana...

Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four.... "
George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?"
Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"

We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.

Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in"
Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"
Bungle: "I know, let's try it round the other way around. Ooooooh, I've got it in"

Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit

Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"
George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself,

Geoffrey (to camera) " Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing"

Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"
Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?"
George: "Yesterday we played with our balls.

Are we going to play with our friend's balls today?"

Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."
Geoffrey (to camera): Have you seen Bungles twanger?
Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."
Bungle: "It's my plucking instrument."

Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle

Zippy: "I can, I'm the best plucker here."
George: "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy?"
Zippy: "Well of course it is, Your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft."
Geoffrey: "Let's get back to Bungle's twanger."
Bungle (excited): "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all paint our twangers couldn't we?"

Go watch it yourself, make sure you aren't eating or drinking anything.

....

h/t spitbull
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Weekly Darwin Award Winner

Darwin Awards

13 July 1997, Virginia) Eric A. Barcia, a 22-year-old Reston, VA resident, was found dead yesterday after he used bungee cords to jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle, police said.

The fast food worker taped a number of bungee cords together and strapped one end around his foot. Barcia had the foresight to anchor the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, and he even remembered to measure the length of the bungee cords to make sure that they were a few feet short of the 70 foot drop. He proceeded to fall headfirst from the trestle, and hit the pavement 70 feet below several seconds later.

Fairfax County police said "The stretched length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground." Perhaps the deceased fast food worker should have stuck to the line, "Do you want fries with that?"
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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Jerry Springer's World

Salt Lake Tribune - Nation/World

I swear this could have been a real episode of Jerry Springer. It has all the buzzwords, a guy named "Billy Bob" or having 2 first names, drinking, thefts, Ku Klux Klan, girlfriend craving sex from anybody, gunplay and of course a guy named "Wild Bill".

People different from us: A jury in Nacogdoches, Texas, convicted Jerry Don Hartless in January of killing his former best friend, Billy Bob Wallace, during a group drinking bout one night along the Angelina River. According to testimony, Hartless believed that Wallace had stolen his boat motor but couldn't prove it. Then, that night, the group discussed a recent Jerry Springer show featuring a black man claiming to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan, and the alcohol-fueled Hartless insinuated that Wallace's girlfriend, who was there, craved sex with black men. (All the drinking group were white.) When
Wallace objected, Hartless shot him. A witness to the shooting was Wallace's adult son, Wild Bill Wallace (which is his actual birth name).
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Monday, February 21, 2005

Icewater


 Posted by Hello
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La Connor WA


 Posted by Hello
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Beryl Wood, Columbia Gorge


 Posted by Hello

Update: Now I know what this reminds me of, it's the face in "The Scream" by Edvard Munch Or maybe not, you decide.

The Scream
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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Balloon Dog

Has anybody else see this from Sci-Fi channel? Here I go again another mental image forming. In a an agency you have the Sci Fi channel guys and gals on one side and the agency creative staff on the other. Here's what I think must of transpired.

Sci Fi: "We need a good segway from our commercials to our main content. Have you some ideas?"

Ad guys:grumbling noises

Sci Fi:"Well?"

Ad guys:still more grumbling noises.

Sci Fi:"And"

Ad guys:"Let's see, I've got an idea. Why don't we put a guy on stage pretending to be a one of those kiddy balloon freaks you see at Chuckee Cheese. Then you add the dog, you know dogs are always good advertising. Kids love'em. Wait, wait I think I've got it now. We'll have the balloon freak blow into the dogs ass til the dog's head explodes into a cartoon dog head. It gets better, he does this Multiple times until the whole dog is just one huge pissed off cartoon dog who's just had some weirdo blowing air up his ass."

Sci fi:

Ad guys:

Sci Fi:Brilliant!!!
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Saturday, February 19, 2005

genital bracelet

NYC's Clothing-optional restaurant - Feb. 18, 2005

Somebody has to check into his relationship with his pupils while he was a "retired junior high school English teacher". Nobody just picks up the idea of a "genital bracelet" at sixty-five. I can just hear it. Honey got to run down to the porn shop and get me a new genital bracelet. I hear they're bring out 3 new colors this year.

h/t http://www.barking-moonbat.com/
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Friday, February 18, 2005


Cannon Beach Posted by Hello

This is mid-February folks, it's supposed to be friggin cold and raining.
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Weekly Darwin Award Winner

Death by Lava Lamp

28 November 2004, Washington | We have a new Darwin winner, with the recent demise of a man at the hands of his lava lamp. "Why on Earth he heated a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know," said baffled police.

No drug or alcohol evidence was found; Philip Quinn, 24, in his right mind, placed a lava lamp on his kitchen burner and turned up the flame. In due course, he rediscovered this favorite explosive generator of deadly shrapnel. He was found dead in his Kent trailer home, a shard of glass through his heart.



This will be a weekly post dedicated to all those good people who do their very best to cleanse the gene pool of planet Earth.
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Possum Boy Posted by Hello

Spotted this guy at Pike's Place Market in Seattle.
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Le Tour Eiffel Posted by Hello

This is a pic I took on our summer vacation in 2003. Taken during the heat wave in Europe where all the Surrender Monkeys were dropping like flies.
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Bath England Posted by Hello

In honor of the previous post, a gratuitous pic of England.
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